I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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