my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
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I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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