Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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