he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
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drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
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Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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