me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
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Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize