Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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