We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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