oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize