I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize