You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize