Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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