Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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