i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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