I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize