you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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