i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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