His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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