I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize