he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This is the high leading the old right now
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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