Please, let me fuck your mom
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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