Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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