So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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