I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
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We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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