she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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