At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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