Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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