Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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