I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize