if you like me you must not know who I am
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
