Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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