is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
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Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
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You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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