My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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