Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize