did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize