girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize