So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
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I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
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She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize