remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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