You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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