Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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