if i can run in heels then i can drive
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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