this boner is exhausting
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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