I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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