Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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