so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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