allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
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thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
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i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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