4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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