i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
