Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize