Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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