Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
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he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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