I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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